he will go out with his friends

If you’ve ever felt left out or neglected because your guy spends too much time with his friends instead of spending quality time with you, then this article is for you.

I know exactly how you’re feeling because that was my situation this time last year.

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Luckily, that’s not the case now. So I’m going to tát share with you the steps I took to tát turn things around.

I always knew that my man was super sociable. It was one of the things that first attracted mạ to tát him.

He had lots of friends and was always the life and soul of the buổi tiệc ngọt. He loved being out and he loved meeting new people.

But it wasn’t until things got more serious between us that I realized just how much he really enjoyed hanging out with his friends.

I felt lượt thích the time he was spending with them was encroaching on our time together. It felt lượt thích they were getting the best of his time, lượt thích Saturday nights.

I started to tát feel second best to tát his friends. He went out with them and did fun stuff. Whereas when he saw mạ, we’d just sit around the house together and Netflix and chill.

Eventually, it really started to tát impact our relationship. I was silently seething inside. I knew I needed to tát bởi something about it.

Here’s what I did, I hope some of these tips are useful for you and your own situation too.

Why would my boyfriend rather hầm out with his friends? 10 tips to tát turn things around

1) How much time is he spending with friends?

There are feelings and then there are facts. And the truth is that the two are often not the same.

So the first thing to tát start with is a bit of self-reflection and introspection.

It’s always good to tát pause for a moment and kiểm tra that your feelings about it aren’t causing you to tát potentially overreact.

Ask yourself how much time he is hanging out with his buddies, and when he sees them. Now consider how often you see him, and when.

Is there a big difference between the two? Are they getting the majority of his time? Is he doing fun stuff exclusively with them?

You might wonder how often should your boyfriend see his friends?

And although there isn’t one definitive answer to tát that, the truth is that we all need to tát have friendships. So a few times a week isn’t ví out of the ordinary.

It’s not necessarily that he is choosing them over you, it’s that friends provide something different to tát partners.

A study showed that men need to tát have a minimum of two guys nights a week to tát maintain good health.

Try to tát understand what bothers you the most about your situation:

  • Is it how much time he spends with friends?
  • Is it that he is going out with them, but doesn’t go out with you?
  • Is it when he sees them that eats into your quality time together, for example on weekends?

We all need to tát realize that time apart is healthy. When handled in the right way, it can even strengthen a relationship.

It gives you time to tát miss someone and look forward to tát seeing them. It gives you more things to tát talk about when you’re together.

On the other hand, he also needs to tát invest in your relationship too. Both time and energy.

That means if he is out almost every night of the week with his friends, you are bound to tát feel neglected.

2) Don’t overreact by getting mad or clingy

Please don’t take this tip the wrong way. I’m not suggesting that you should smile sweetly and hide how you feel.

But I know first hand that when your boyfriend goes out with friends but doesn’t take you out, it can bring up all kinds of emotions.

You might feel a bit insecure and vulnerable about it. You might question his feelings and affection for you. You might feel resentful and a bit pissed off.

I think that’s normal. It’s because you care.

But your ultimate aim is to tát bring your boyfriend closer, not push him further away.

Telling him off, getting mad at him, or acting desperate and clingy is more likely to tát have the opposite effect to tát what you really want.

If you’re lượt thích mạ, then you don’t want to tát have to tát lúc lắc down the law and demand that your BF takes you out more and sees his friends less “or else”.

You want him to tát want to tát bởi that. That means making time together more appealing.

What helped mạ to tát avoid overreacting was stripping away our situation and figuring out what the root problem was.

I realized that it wasn’t ví much that he went out with friends and not with mạ, it was the assumptions I made about what that must mean.

I actually kind of enjoyed cuddling on the couch together. I realized it was more about the attention I felt he was giving to tát other people and not to tát mạ.

I felt lượt thích him going out to tát bars, and doing fun stuff with his friends and not with mạ must mean on some level he cares less about mạ.

Of course, this was a feeling and not a fact. So I tried to tát remember that.

3) Build up your own social life

If you’ve been spending all your không lấy phí time alone when you’re not with your guy, then you’re bound to tát miss him more.

Sometimes when we get into a relationship, we kết thúc up losing ourselves a little bit. We neglect other things we have going on and make our partner the center of our world.

That can be fun. But it can also backfire.

Go to tát parties, meetups, get involved in sports teams, spend time on your own interests and hobbies etc.

And make sure you spend as much time with your girlfriends as possible.

This works in a couple of ways:

  • It helps to tát take your mind off things. You might be surprised that when you’re also busy, you don’t obsess over how much time your guy is spending with his friends.
  • It’s sexy when our partners are independent. Him seeing you with a busy social life can spark his interest in keeping you closer.

This isn’t about making him jealous that you are also seeing your friends all the time.

But it’s about making sure you are living your best life, regardless.

4) Set healthy expectations around the relationship

I’m just going to tát say it:

I think too many of us have unrealistic ideas about love.

Sure, love is amazing, and without it, life can feel meaningless. But our idea of love is shaped by overly romantic notions. And it’s hard for real life to tát match up.

Have you ever asked yourself why love is ví hard?

Why can’t it be how you imagined growing up? Or at least make some sense…

When you’re dealing with unmet expectations in a relationship it’s easy to tát become frustrated and even feel helpless. You may even be tempted to tát throw in the towel and give up on love.

I want to tát suggest doing something different.

It’s something I learned from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught mạ that the way to tát find love and intimacy is not what we have been culturally conditioned to tát believe.

In fact, many of us self-sabotage and trick ourselves for years, getting in the way of meeting a partner who can truly fulfil us.

As Rudá explains in this mind blowing không lấy phí video clip, many of us chase love in a toxic way that ends up stabbing us in the back.

We fall in love with an ideal version of someone instead of the real person.

We try to tát “fix” our partners and kết thúc up destroying relationships.

We try to tát find someone who “completes” us, only to tát fall apart with them next to tát us and feel twice as bad.

Rudá’s teachings showed mạ a whole new perspective.

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While watching, I felt lượt thích someone understood my struggles to tát find and nurture love for the first time – and finally offered an actual, practical solution to tát finding a fulfilling relationship that feels equal.

If you’re done with frustrating relationships and having your hopes dashed over and over, then this is a message you need to tát hear.

I guarantee you will not be disappointed.

Click here to tát watch the không lấy phí video clip.

5) Suggest some quality time together

After asking myself some deeper questions about how I was really feeling, I looked for practical steps I could take to tát make things better.

I decided that before steamrolling in, I would start with a more subtle approach. Especially after I realized that maybe I was just feeling a bit deprived of his attention.

They say you catch more flies with honey kêu ca vinegar. So I decided to tát charm my way into spending more time with mạ.

A good approach can be to tát suggest you bởi some romantic, or fun things just the two of you.

Guys aren’t mind readers, and let’s face it, sometimes they can be a bit clueless. Make it clear that you want to tát go out more with him.

What is it that you want to tát do?

Go for a drink?

Go out for a romantic candlelit dinner?

Hit the bowling alley?

Head to tát the movies?

Whatever it is, suggest it to tát him. Let him know that spending time with him doing things sounds lượt thích your idea of heaven.

It will flatter him to tát know that you want to tát hit the town with your man.

6) Find new interests you can share together

Sometimes relationships can fall into bad or lazy habits.

Once we get more comfortable we don’t think we need to tát make as much of an effort. Of course, it’s not good to tát take someone for granted. But it happens.

To bring back a bit of a spark and make things feel fresh again, you could try to tát find some totally new things to tát bởi together.

Do you have common interests? Are there things you’d both love to tát try but never have?

Start a conversation about trying some new things in your relationship. See what he would be interested in, and find out if any of your interests match up.

Maybe it’s getting fit, maybe it’s learning a new skill or taking a class together, it could be something adventurous lượt thích going camping together.

This is the time you can make it clear that you’d love to tát go out and bởi more things with him. But you are framing it in a positive and constructive way, rather kêu ca having a moan.

How things are received often comes down to tát how we deliver it. That’s why being proactive rather kêu ca complaining is going to tát hopefully make him more receptive.

7) Let him know how you feel

It’s funny isn’t it. We hear all the time about how communication is essential to tát healthy relationships. If only it felt ví easy to tát bởi.

It can be really hard to tát open up and tell your boyfriend how you feel.

You might worry about how he’ll react, whether he’ll be dismissive and make you feel rejected, or whether he’ll think you are being unfair or clingy.

You might even worry that you’ll lose your cool and it will only lead to tát an argument.

But if your more subtle attempts to tát create more quality time for you two in your relationship have gone unnoticed and unreciprocated, then you need to tát have a proper chat about it.

Tell him how you feel. When we bring up problems with a partner, it’s best to tát use language lượt thích “I feel” rather kêu ca “you never/always bởi this or that”.

The latter can sound accusatory. To get the best response from him, he needs to tát hear how it makes you feel.

You’re not saying he is bad or wrong, you’re telling him how you feel.

For example, this is what I ended up saying to tát my boyfriend:

“I love about you that you are independent and a good friend. It’s super attractive to tát mạ. But lately, I’ve also felt a bit sad about how much you bởi with them. When you go out with your friends, but we usually stay trang chủ, I sometimes feel lượt thích less of a priority to tát you. I’d love it if we could also have more proper dates”.

8) Get advice specific to tát your situation

While this article explores tips you can use if your boyfriend never takes you out but is always out with his friends, it can be helpful to tát speak to tát a relationship coach about your situation.

Relationships can be confusing and frustrating. Sometimes you’ve hit a wall and you really don’t know what to tát bởi next.

I’ve always been skeptical about getting outside help until I actually tried it out.

Relationship Hero is the best resource I’ve found for love coaches who aren’t just talk.

They have seen it all, and they know all about how to tát tackle difficult situations lượt thích when you’re feeling neglected or underappreciated in your relationship.

Personally, I tried them while going through the mother of all crises in my own love life. They managed to tát break through the noise and give mạ real solutions.

My coach was kind, they took the time to tát really understand my unique situation, and gave genuinely helpful advice.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

Click here to tát kiểm tra them out.

9) Come up with some ground rules

Ground rules don’t sound very romantic, but healthy relationships have clear boundaries and expectations.

All relationships need compromise. You are two separate people and you are bound to tát have different ideas and thoughts on things.  It’s only natural.

But it’s important to tát find a middle ground that you can both be happy with.

Ground rules help keep things respectful in a relationship.

Talk about what you both think a healthy and happy relationship looks lượt thích. Get specific.

How much time bởi you think you should spend apart? How much time with friends feel appropriate? How many dates out of the house bởi you think is a good amount?

You need to tát share these ideas you both have with one another. Agree on the things that feel important to tát both of you.

For example, mạ and my BF decided to tát a couple of clear rules:

  • He’ll tell mạ about his plans with his friends rather kêu ca spring it on me
  • We will have one proper date out of the house each week

10) If he can’t or won’t give you what you need, find someone who will

If your expectations are too far apart, you might not be right for each other.

If your demands are reasonable, but he shuts them down, then he may not be the right boyfriend for you.

If you tell him how you feel (without throwing blame his way) and he cares about you, it is not too much to tát ask to tát take you out.

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Hopefully, your boyfriend was just in the dark about how you were feeling, and ví these tips will work to tát get you back on track lượt thích they did for mạ.

But if your guy is out every night, doesn’t value you and isn’t prepared to tát make any changes — you might have to tát be prepared to tát walk away.

You deserve a man in your life who wants to tát take you out and spend quality time with you.